The things we leave behind – We’re taking part in the challenge! A little different from our costume updates, but still relevant to how we get from ideas to completion. Enjoy…
It’s there, right there. Staring at me from the corner of the room.
Lurking, always looking, never compromising. It can grow if I let it, it can also shrink into the shadows should I choose to ignore it. Should I feed it, when I fed it, it grew. Growing like a mountain within the night. The elephant within the room.
It doesn’t need to speak, for I speak for it. There is no language barriers, for there is only one intent and purpose. Feelings? No, it does not feel, it’s cold, hard, bitter, alone. Dancing on my parade, celebrating in my fails. Weightless, yet able to pin down a person of any size within seconds. Controlling, needing, wanting there to be more. To be more failures, more doubts, some more ammunition.
It’s that tap, tap, tap on your shoulder. The little niggle inside your head. The reason we give up, repeatedly, rather than try, and try again. The taps get heavier, the niggles get louder. Don’t turn around, don’t face the beast. For when you do, it consumes you. You, and everything around you. Making a meal out of the little crack within the ideal. Give it space, give it time, and it will make that crack get larger, bigger, heavier and darker.
Bang! It shoots down your dream. Bang, bang! There goes the motivation, right out the window. Oh, how I hear it laughing now. Giggling in the shadows at the world we tried to create. Perhaps, maybe, possibly…
But I choose to walk away. To run, and to not look back. No stumbling, no fear, to fight this demon. Starving the beast, bringing hunger into their world. Closing the gap, the light shining brighter now. What’s this? The shadows are retreating. Humbly creeping backwards from the corner where they leapt from.
Intent is making this happen. The monster is becoming miniaturised, I’m becoming a giant in comparison. Fading, twisting, contorting itself away from me, from the light, from the ideal. For it has failed, flunked through it’s one and only purpose.
See I’m not listening to the niggles, the ‘It’s not good enough’ s any more. That voice is now high-pitched, humorous. For how can you listen when it sounds so ridiculous…
For the thing I left behind was self-doubt, to be where I am today. As for self-doubt, it doesn’t enjoy the corner, and sometimes it wriggles out a little further. But as quickly as it comes out, I shall push back, with new ideas, new determination, new motivation. For self-doubt is a monster we all need to control, today put yours in it’s corner.
Our post was inspired by this challenge – Dailypost challenge – the things we leave behind.